while i was doing my school work today my mom saw an ad in the papers about becoming a language teacher for special needs kids. i remember aunty susan (sher's mom) telling me once that i could be a speech therapist. wonder why i've never really thought about studying that. taking it into serious consideration now. =) you could say i've been finding an alternative to studying art. somehow i just don't think that's all i'm meant to do, but that's just what i'm good at and what i reallly enjoy. this whole future, next-phase-of-life thing is pretty confusing and quite scary, but anyway, i'm just praying about it. everybody's kicking up a big fuss about my ambition and plans. some people believe in me and others are just blatantly skeptical (about whether i can make it academically and socially).

people's view of me can be really frustrating sometimes. they see me and treat me like a really swa ku person who "doesn't know what real life is like" and "is not well-rounded". yes, some people have said that to my face. got alot more remarks also lah.. too many to say. fortunately, unlike ALOT of other homeschoolers, i have decided not to feed the urge to prove myself, which is why when i get remarks like that i just smile. i don't have to prove myself cool or street-wise. that's kind of egoistic. haha. when i was youngER i did lah, must make myself look athletic (which is why i started the whole stupid muscle thing and now my arms are huge) and i must be very charismatic and i must talk with the teen twang and must do this and that. thank God lah, i grew up a little. :D i find it easier to be myself now, and i like having the good girl aura.

anyway, how'd i veer to such a weird subject? i'm considering studying something to do with special needs kids. :) that's all i originally wanted to say. heh.

my, like, 7th journal is finishing (pages) and i'm gonna get a new one. my journal very funny one.. it's like a multipurpose book. i write everything in it, study notes, daily thoughts, angry letters, sermon notes, art ideas, (dumb) poems, short stories, etc, so it's a super top secret book, cause it's basically my brain in ink on paper. but now i'm gonna compile all my poems in one book. maybe it'd be finished by the time i'm.. 80. or 90. HAH.

i'm saving up for korean lessons. KEE!