little chunks out of my everyday book, written in the dead of the night when i was watching mama try to sleep.

"dear mama,

you are my irony. you are my paradox. you are the hardest thing that has ever happened to me, and yet in suffering for your happiness i am happy.

when all this is over, i can say in the truest way possible that i love you."

"dear mama,

you dig your way into my heart looking for what love i have to give.

you are like a child i didn't ask for. you are like a child i can't give up. i am crying because some part of me doesn't want you, while another knows that you belong to me. and it tears my heart in painful two. i realize clearly today that i am doing all this not because of how i feel, but because i know it's right."

thumbs down to all the songs and advice which say follow your heart.