"any prayer requests, sister agnes?"

"pray for my grandma, that she will not be in pain."

he paused for a very short moment to phrase his thoughts in a palatable manner.

"sometimes when you pray for God to take away pain, He might just do so by taking the person home." he said softly.

i held his eyes with mine, wide open, bright and unmoved. i nodded and blinked with a slight smile so as to say, yep, i know... and...?

"we must be specific when we pray." was his retort to my body language.

now i struggled to phrase my thought in a palatable way.

"we kind of, don't take that as a bad thing..." my eyes darted to my brother sitting in the corner. i was subconsciously hoping for some support, but received none.

"let's just pray for God's will to be done." my pastor concluded.

how heartless i must have sounded.