mama has completely lost it. she talks nonsense and cannot remember things. i heard that she kept asking for sweets like a child today, and she cried so hard she started calling for her mom. tim was tending to her when i got back. came home to a tired family.

i'm gonna stay up tonight with her. she's completely different now, in the way she cries and speaks. she's still demanding and fussy though. seems to be a step closer to "the end" which she has been fighting. doing the thousand turns ritual. finding determination in the fact that what goes up must come down, she'll tire out eventually in the morning. like joining a super long queue. if you give up you would have completely wasted your time.

i was so rushed and tired today that i couldn't be bothered to put on any make up. i was so tired. felt like sleeping in the church toilet in the mini tub.

i'm actually typing in between mama's unending requests to sit up and turn and be lifted up etc now. and i'm really groggy. maybe i should blog another time.