yesterday i finished school earlier and went to see MAMA! with mom and dad. she amazes us all. when we got there she was sleeping like a baby in her fetal position, then she woke up and started talking and talking and talking. she was put in the high dependency ward because she was breathless for some reason. the ward is sweet, BUT there're no chairs or anything accommodating to the visitors BECAUSE they don't want you to stay long in there lah. pfft. fed mama the porridge we brought and she ate that instead of her provided dinner. she couldn't even be bothered to let us feed her, just helped herself. she must miss home food. after that we just spent some time with her, laughed with her, wondered at how she does this time and again.

gran's stable now, and totally unlike her horrible state on friday and saturday. her arm is nice and flat now, no more inflammed scary mass there, but her arm is a little swollen with water. she still has to use the tube in her neck for dialysis. the docs changed her drip thing to her ankle cause her hand one was quite inflammed. :O she is eating well and talking like usual. miraculous lah, thank you God!

of course, pics for you! i must say, gran is queen of funny faces.

*yes, porridge jjang!*

*mmmm, thank you for praying for me! don't i look cute now?*
aegyo~ omo, kiyowoh!
i mean, might as well right? :P
praying together before we go. mommy prays then mama mumbles things she wants to add, like help her to not feel chuan, help her to poop, etc.

when you see her before and after, you realize for yourself that life and death really are in God's hands.

gran got through the surgery nice and steady! man, she's one fighting mama. i am actually very surprised. i guess God has more plans for her for now. :)

she and my parents waited from 2+, after her dialysis, until like 9 this morning before she could actually have the surgery done. daddy was updating me while i was at church. i was a little nervous about the outcome, but i wasn't emo or anything lah. haha. it was really really nice of everyone to show concern in their own ways. support does help.

parents have gone to lala land. :) they seem alright. it's sweet to see them stick together in times like these. was talking to my mom last night,
M: i'm okay. daddy's with me.
A: yah yah, just don fight can already.
M: now he starting to fight with me already. HAHA~
D: *mumbling in the background*
M: i tell him to get cold water he go and get hot water.
A: and now he's insisting he's right?
M: yalah.
A: HAHAHAHA.
M: i told him to go watch TV
A: hahahahahaha.

so sweet lah i tell you. it's nice to have someone you can lean on. :) *song comes to mind?* keke.
timmy bought us pizza today. i wish i had more working brothers, boy would life be good. XD

thank God for carrying us through, without much turmoil or trauma, other than on mama's part that is. he really gave us the calm and strength we needed, and he's letting us have mama for a while more. ^^

came back about half an hour ago from SGH. thanks to BJ who made a trip there to support support. we caught a ride from him, we being tim and me. brought some stuff for mom and dad, just toiletries for tomorrow morning.

saw gran and she looks horrible. her fever has subsided, i think she still looks so sick! she was at dialysis when we saw her, shivering and drowsy and not able to talk. but she recognized us and tried to smile and stuff. anyway, she should be in for the big op at 2+. it's big because of the anesthesia, complex stuff. gave mom and dad big hugs before leaving and told them to tell me if the slightest thing happened. BJ and S.lydia passed them a Bible too. thank you so much BJ and S.lydia, for the love and support. everyone else too.

i can't help but think it's cute that daddy was gonna cry so many times. i myself was taking deep breaths to handle all those sad scenes and i was thinking to myself, no daddy don't cry ah! you cry i won't be able to hold it in already! HAHA. my daddy has a very tender heart although he looks tough, but hey, who won't feel heartwrenched when it comes to our moms? especially this mama of ours. :) anyway some of you are asking how am i? i think i'm alright. hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. yes, easier said than done, but i'm trying. must be strong strong girl, strong with trust in God.

just called mommy and she told me more clearly what's going on over there. gran had some tube inserted down her neck already. that is the first thing on the 'list'. i think the tube's for her dialysis. now she's waiting for dialysis, which would take about 3 hours. after dialysis is done she'll go for the big op for her arm, to remove the shant (spelling?) and stuff. mom says thank God that the antibiotics are working so her fever's gone down, and the pain is manageable now. so that's that.

was talking to mommy, trying to find the useful questions to ask so i don't waste her brain energy on stupid things. she said, "sitting beside mama now..." wah, i heartpain when i heard that lah for some reason, maybe because i was picturing it. then i asked about the pain and she said, "... thank God the pain is tolerable now, she's just silently groaning." then i laughed, "silently groaning?" haha. i could tell mom was real tired. please pray for my parents too.

correction! gran's infected part of arm did not burst, i think it just got worse. uncle gave some wrong info. got a call from mommy during choir. asked her if i should go over to the hospital but she wanted me to come home. gran's gone for surgery, heard it'll be a whole night thing, so my parents will stay there indefinitely. they want us to stay home tonight and go to church tomorrow.

i don't know if it's very serious or not, but i know gran's too old for surgeries. mommy also said grans whole hand was bandaged and she was in alot of pain, which totally put a knife in my heart. i think i am scared and worried, yes that's what i'm feeling now. oh, and i'm sorry i didn't tell some of you earlier at choir. was afraid i'd start my waterworks if i tried to say it out, haha. so i just msged geil, but apparently it didn't get through, thus the late news.

please pray that gran will have less pain, and that she will be sure that she's God's child.
i love mama. =)

the weather was quite cool last night, but it was all ruined by some irritating MOZZIES! i was being bitten all over while i slept and woke up because it was so itchyyyyyy. AAAAAAH ! my legs, back, fingers. tonight i'm gonna fumigate my room ah i tell you. tsk.

going for teens club later. i'm kinda sleepy and very hungry.

MY DOG IS SO CUTE. sometimes i really can't stand his adorability and i feel like hugging him until his eyeballs pop out.
UMM, that sounded sadistic. what i mean is I LOVE MY DOG.

his eyeballs are unbelievable. he can challenge those chameleons.

CUUTE RIIGHT?! bran endorses nike. ;))

DOOLY FACE! doo-ly~

Vois sur ton Chemin

Vois sur ton chemin
Gamins oubliés égarés
Donne-leur la main
Pour les mener
Vers d'autres lendemains

Sens au cœur de la nuit
L'onde d'espoir
Ardeur de la vie
Sentier de gloire

Bonheurs enfantins
Trop vite oubliés effacés
Une lumière dorée brille sans fin
Tout au bout du chemin

Sens au cœur de la nuit
L'onde d'espoir
Ardeur de la vie
Sentier de gloire

looking forward to vienna boys' choir now. whopee~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RAYE.

i feel bad that i thought her birthday was tomorrow. aw~

(agnes singing) THANK GOD FOR THE RAINNNNN~ i like i like.
and i mean the actual rain, not mr. rain.

the songs from Les Choristes are in my head! i'm sorta learning to sing some. (HEH!) i wish my parents stuck me in a choir when i was younger. singing kids are so cute. oh yes, did i mention? i have an ULCER in my throat. mom says for some reason i'm very prone to that. trying to keep it under control else my throat becomes a pus farm again, bad memories. it's not a very big ulcer but it hurts. still, i'm singing those frenchie songs inspite. haha, i think my family is irked out by my voice floating around the house all day, like a ghost's. sorry lah, abit out of tune. :D

fighting!

got fedup with matching clothes this morning so i just threw on a dress. i think i'm wearing all my dresses too often. they're so convenient lah! (and airy. ehh ;))

today the passage for SBH was 1 corinthians 9-10. i tried my best to pay attention, daydreamed a little in the middle. (i'm sorrry.) then it was aunty janet's and my turn to teach chapel. was genuinely feeling nervous before that. i'm always afraid i'll like, say something wrong and ruin a child's life forever or something ridiculous like that. i think i did alright, thank God. :D the kids are sweet when they're not fighting.

napped for a while when i came back, but woke up because i was SWEATING. then accompanied mommy down for a stroll to guardian and watsons, etc. i bought a pretty notebook since the old one ran out of pages.

i'm so sleepy now.

woke up the latest i could today, cause i was so SO sleepy! i still am now, in fact. went down to dabao food. i would have skipped breakfast if i could, but my appetite's ridiculous nowadays. i used to think i was one of those blessed ones who ate tons of junk and never grew an inch, but i'm beginning to see that i'm not. there's REAL FAT layering on my body, in bad places. so anyway, i was starving when i woke up and i went down to get some food and bubble tea. (cravings. tsk tsk.) half way buying, the van came to pick me up for teens club. and off i went.

after teens, had lunch at SUPER-BORING SUN PLAZA. sorry lah guys, i sorta decided on the place right? i just needed ACon. :D seriously the heat's killing me these days. edward joined us, and i tell you he's super talkative and has that sec-1 humor. HAH, it's nice having him around. join us every week ah, ed. then we shall eat in sembawang for ever. ;))

choir was alright. i had good voice in the beginning but it wore off quickly. i really regret not taking more care of my voice when i was younger. i sorta wrecked my throat. so sad. now i can't reach those high notes like i used to! i'm in a julie andrews mood thinking about it...

finishing up an order of cards that i've delayed for so long. hope to deliver them via timlow-mail tomorrow. OH yah, i'm teaching chapel tomorrow too! i still get jittery okay.

fighting~

IT

IS

SO

HOT

TODAY

... and yesterday too. man, not nice leh. that, coupled with nasty hormones, is making my face turn into a zit farm again! ARRG. angry red volcanoes (AHA, exaggeration) popping out. yes, people who meet me.. you will see. =(

mommy was given MC for yesterday and today, so we went to see gran this morning. at first she seemed alright, but then she began puking and stuff, but at least her fever was down. we (mom, dad, me, aunt) left shortly after she went in for dialysis. after lunch mom and i went for a walk at AMK hub, and i was buying a present for tim when mommy got a call from the hospital saying that gran's arm-- the part used for dialysis-- was infected, causing her sky high fever attacks, and they couldn't go through with dialysis cause the infection could get into her bloodstream if they needle her. UM, anyway she's in SGH again. temporary ward 54D, room 11 bed 1. cut short our shopping trip and met up with daddy to go home. so, the granny episode is not over yet.

managed to get tim's birthday present. it's simple and he already has a lot of them, but it's nice. also bought a pair of heels, some jap brand, at a super slashed price. two of the four things i planned to buy. oh well. =)

aunt invited me to a PERANAKAN CONCERT, or play, or something like that. WHOO~~ i was saying, too bad i don't have my own suit of baju kebaya. =(

really appreciate those people who visited gran on sunday, that was very thoughtful of you all! gran's fever went up and down. we got to see that when dad, mom and i went to see her yesterday. one moment she's curled up and shivering, the next she can sit up and talk. it's scary, but thank God the fever's manageable. if it gets out of hand, meaning she doean't respond to the meds there in AMK, then she'll be sent to SGH-- again. she was happy to see people caring for her yesterday. (yes, she loves attention. but who in her shoes wouldn't?) i thought mommy was strong. when gran was really jiatlat and puking and shaking i was going to display some waterworks already, but mommy seemed fine. she just kept sponging her. :)

went home and waited for 10pm, when arts central was showing a movie i've been wanting to watch for AGES. i knew about it before, and the vocal teacher that taught our choir recommended it too. found out about the singer, jean-baptiste maunier, while searching youtube. anyway, the film is called les choristes and it's nice.

mommy at SGH getting her ear checked out now. may be a number of things, but we'll see. daddy's accompanying her.

today was an average saturday, teens-lunch-choir-home day. there's nothing much to tell..

just got news that gran is now running a HIGH fever, 39+, which probably feels more than horrible. please keep her in your prayers. heard something about low oxygen levels and stuff too. hope she will be fine. mama fighting~

brain tired now. goodnight people.

been thinking about december's church camp. seriously looking forward to it, cause i realized it'll be the only time in this entire year when i'll get to go overseas. does malaysia count as overseas? over a tiny sea. no travelling for me this year. um, sad. especially since year 16 is supposed to be exciting and fun and whatever else it's made up to be. but anyways, at least there's still church camp.

yesterday gran was running a fever. a day or two before that she told us she had problems breathing all of a sudden, but the docs said all seemed fine so they would just observe her. i hope nothing's wrong.

mom and dad went to the polyclinic on wednesday. mom has some deafness in her ear (!!!!) and dad needed to go for a blood test, liver stuff. age really is a bugger...

i'm SO SAD for bran! his entire upper row of teeth are shaky and one already dropped out, who knows when! it's really dawning (more like crashing) upon me that bran won't last forever, and that is such a depressing thought. he's only, what, 6? and he's becoming a boh gey, ah pek dog! *sniffs* age REALLY is a bugger. when bran dies, i don't think i'll be able to take it as containedly (i made that word up) as jake. i'll be crying all over the place.

took this at sheng siong. you should NEVER stack damage. it just comes back to you in the end!wanna remove your iris, lip, or eye?

KY learning to cycle from a person (me) who hardly knows how to cycle. gagaga~

sent bran to the groomers and he's BOTAK AGAIN!

prayer retreat was good! more tiring than i expected, but still good. the lessons were on faith, cause prayer requires faith. there was just a small group of us who stayed over.

waited for the van for quite some time at pasir ris mrt. ended up wandering around the mall abit before slumping down on some benches inside, tim, me and geil. van picked us up and we booked into the chalet, got settled into our rooms, had a short word time, then went to buy stuff for the stay. had dinner out and went back for another word time and prayer before going to bed. didn't exactly sleep well, but compared to the other campers i think we got the most sleep.

woke up at 6 the next day. i was bunking with tim. prayed after the message and had breakfast. then morning worship. then we prayed again? i can't remember. anyway it was free time all the way after that, so we went cycling. i accompanied KY since she and i couldn't really cycle, and she rented a bike to learn. (lol) went back to the bungalow a few hours later to bathe and eat dinner, then had evening worship and went to bed. tim went back home cause he was coming down with something. this time the rooms were taken by some families, so the girls bunked in the hall together.

started worship at the same time, 6:30, the next morning. all of us were seriously sleepy. had breakfast and packed up to go home. BJ sent us back.

the end! not exactly eventful or fun, but a good time to remember the importance of prayer. there're pics but they're not with me. i'll post them when i get them.

UMM, i'm going for the ABM retreat later! so i thought i'd blog a little before leaving my lovely computer for a few days.

thank God i did well for my maths test. and i completed the calligraphy work that i esteemed impossible yesterday! (almost broke my fingers trying to finish that. tsk.) may post up pics of my sweat and blood on the art blog.

gran has put on WEIGHT, like obviously. i guess that's a good thing. =)

been watching this kr show called infinity challenge (dramas are boring. variety shows are more worth the time!) and it's FUNNY. the show gets six 'misfits' to do tasks and missions, and the humor feeds off their quirks. :D yesterday i was watching an episode where they went to korea's english town where everyone is forced to speak whatever english you know, and it was hilarious, i was laughing out loud with my head phones on at my comp. parents walked pass my room shaking their heads and imitating me. HEH.

gonna pack for the retreat.

iknowiknow i'm so guilty of neglecting my blog. :( trying to get back to that daily-posting habit.

i'm really thinking about learning/studying korean. alright, i know everyone's like shaking their heads thinking i'm one of those korean-crazed aunties/teenagers that's swept away with the flow of the stupid kwave. i'm not ohkay! the kwave just introduced this culture to me and i now find it interesting, if may phrase it that way. X) no, i'm not like those obsessed fans who would go for fan meetings or autograph sessions or sleep on a pillow with rain's face on it or wear socks with pictures of BYJ printed on them, (the socks one is scary. like a hidden fetish. imagine a market aunty pulling off her shoe to reveal BYJ's face! ackk!) nor do i drown myself in the ringing soundtrack of the current in-drama. please don't ever picture me as any of the above, thank you very much.
back to the learning korean thing. anyone wanna learn too? it's nicer to have a buddy. the more the merrier. i think i'll have an easy time cause i've learned BY MYSELF how to read (muahaha. internet jjang!) and i realized it's 10 times easier than chinese and 100000 times easier than french. tell me if you wanna learn too! even if it's just for fun, like a one month thing. *teeth-smile*

oh yes, did i ever mention i quit greek? one year of insanity (french) is enough for me. i got stuck at the second volume of greek and seriously got mad, mostly at my tiny brain for spitting all i want to learn out. replaced it with some college old testament survey which supposedly gets more difficult towards the end of the course, but hey it's anytime closer to home for me than GREEK. a lesson for my future decision making: avoid mediterranean languages written in squiggly form. AHA, no lah, i learned not to overestimate myself. i thought after french nothing was impossible, but whatever, greek's worse.

i am not very smart. art's just my thing. my only thing! *cries*

maths test tomorrow. whaiting!

Good Rainy Afternoon, Everybody...
last week was a normal boring week so i didn't really bother to post anything. having a bad sore throat now (depressed) and my head feels oozy and my neck feels like it's been used as a punching bag. ah, the flu bug. to sum up the feeling, it's like i've been trampled over by alot of people.

yesterday ABM celebrated its 5th birthday! whoo~ was glad to see daphne and CY and so many people there. i actually was feeling kind of sick so that sorta blocked my gladness from showing on my face. sorry if i looked grumpy, didn't mean it. i wore my funny orange batik dress which made me look old, but i don't mind. :) took some pics while waiting to go home.

omo, sarang heh~

haha, geil's dad.